2007年10月15日 星期一
Friendship
I think it is important to have a precious friendship in my life time. Certainly, when I am home, I rely on parents for supports, but when I was away from home, I need the supports from my friends. Sometimes I feel friends are even closer than my sister and brother because I spend more time with my friends and we have so much interestthe same . People said friendship can be described as “The gift of God” to us. A true friendship should be build on trusting and we have to be sincere to each other.
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The word "precious" is not any easy one to use appropriately. I may be biased against the word -- I think I am -- but I don't like the usage here. It's too sentimental. It also has some negative meanings and connotations that pop into my mind whenever I see and hear it: "AFFECTED, POSING, HYPOCRITICAL". "Affected", or "artificial" and put on for the occasion, is how I generally understand the word, except in in set phrases like "precious gems".
You rely on your parents (so you have to say "my parents", just as you say "my friends") for support, the singular noun.
"we have so much interest the same" is incorrect: "we have so many of the same interests" or "we share so many interests".
"People said" is the wrong way to express this. It has to be "People say" or "Some people say". I don't know who you talk to or hear from, but I can't remember anybody ever telling me that friendship was a "gift of God". People who say such things usually don't stop there; they claim that everything is a "gift of God", which devalues all those gifts. I don't pay attention to people who want to tell me where friendship and other obviously natural social phenomena come from either. All one needs to do is look at the stray dogs in one's neighborhood in Taiwan to realize that even dogs have friends. It seems to be a genetic trait.
Your final sentence, the conclusion of your post, is not connected to the beginning of the post or to the topic sentence, which tells the reader that a close friendship is important in your life. The conclusion is about how a "true" (are you using this word to mean "precious"? It is not a synonym for that word. Don't change the words you use if you change the meaning when you use another word) friend should be built. It's no longer about you and your experience; rather, you are now acting as a preacher and telling the readers what they have to do to build true friendships. That's not what your post is about.
Otherwise, your English is clear enough for business.
I see that I made a typo in the first sentence of my comment. "any" should be "an": "not an easy one to use".
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